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APRIL 2008 
My dear Friends,
“Pain has an element of blank:
It cannot recollect
When it began, or if there were
A day when it was not.”
Emily Dickinson
Of course we count our pain from the day our child died. Even those families who've lived
with illness and expect death, find that nothing really prepares them for the pain of the finality
of loss. And, once begun, the pain is incessant, unrelenting, merciless. It is a gas ever
expanding to fill the vacuum that our lives have become.
You get used to the misery, wake to it, fall asleep to it, are aware of it all through the hours
in-between. So it's hardly surprising that you could believe there's no end to pain, no exit
from its cold clutches. However, that's not so; with much introspection and conscious effort
and the blessings of time, love and understanding, the intensity of pain does soften. You
learn to cope with each day. Your confidence gradually returns and with it comes new
optimism and strength. Almost despite yourself you find you can smile sometimes, even look
forward to tomorrow without anxiety or fear, rather with anticipation and hope.
There will be burdens to carry and obstacles to overcome; this is life after all. The pain
doesn't entirely vanish; it throbs on occasion and who really would want it otherwise? We
hurt because of the enormity of our loss and the abundance of our love and our precious
memories. Pain remains part of us but we cannot allow it to continue to dominate.
Strangely it can prod us forward as we learn to accommodate it and so many other, more
positive emotions into our lives.
Take the tenderest care of yourself.
Rosemary Dirmeik
TCF Johannesburg
NEWS...NEWS...NEWS...
**** CHAPTER LEADER FOR TCF Johannesburg
We are looking for someone to take over the role of Chapter
Leader for TCF`s Johannesburg Chapter, so please send in your CVS
ASAP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*** SATURDAY MEETINGS
We have had numerous requests that we change the general
meetings back to Saturdays’ again, so from Aprils general meeting will
be back to Saturday afternoons at 2pm looking forward to seeing you
all there..
** WALL OF REMEMBRANCE
Would you like to remember your loved one by adding their photographs to our wall of remembrance on this website ? If so please forward your photograph together with name, details and a short message.
* THIS IS YOUR NEWSLETTER & WEBSITE
We love receiving your contributions. You can’t believe just how much your feelings and experiences assist other parents who are struggling through their grief. Please just let us have any contributions by the 15th of each month. Sometimes submissions may have to be edited owing to space etc.
Fax 011-887 9494 or 
TCF BROCHURES TO DOWNLOAD
LINKS NOW WORKING !!
7 WAYS TO HELP WHEN SOMEONE DIES
DEALING WITH A DEATH BY ROAD ACCIDENT
FOR FIRST RESPONDERS, THOSE WHO BREAK THE NEWS
STILLBIRTH, MISCARRIAGE AND INFANT DEATH
SUGGESTIONS FOR MEDICAL PERSONNEL
SURVIVING YOUR CHILD'S' SUICIDE
7 PRINCIPLES OF THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS
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How you can help Compassionate Friends. Please don’t ever assume that what you have to give is too little. We are grateful for any donations. If you do your grocery shopping and buy an extra bag of tea, sugar, coffee, toilet paper etc that you then donate to TCF it means we don’t have to spend money on those things. We can then use the money we have for newsletters and counselling. We also have a bin by the gate where you can leave your newspapers. If you make a cash donation we may now issue you with a tax certificate.
THANK YOU TO NASHUA NORTH FOR PRINTING OUR MONTHLY NEWSLETTER.
Our Mission Statement
THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS is a mutual self-help organisation offering friendship and understanding to bereaved parents and siblings.
The primary purpose is to assist them in the positive resolution of the grief experienced upon the death of a child and to support their efforts to achieve physical and emotional health.
The secondary purpose is to provide information and education about bereaved parents and siblings. The objective is to help those in their community, including family, friends, employers, co-workers and professionals to be supportive.
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The History of The Compassionate Friends 
TCF was founded by Reverend Simon Stephens in the UK in 1969 after he witnessed the support two bereaved families were able to draw from each other after losing a child. TCF was founded in South Africa in 1983 by Linda Abelheim and there are now more the 30 groups throughout the country.
All who belong to TCF have learned that the death of our child has caused a pain that can best be understood fully by another bereaved parent. Knowing that others need love and support, we reach out as our own grief subsides to those who still feel alone and abandoned.
TCF believes that bereaved parents can help each other towards a positive resolution of their grief, as we know that expressing thoughts and feelings is part of the healing process. We never suggest that there is a correct way to grieve or that there is a preferred solution to the emotional and spiritual dilemma raised by the deaths of our children - we understand that each parent must find his or her own way through grief.
TCF reaches out to all bereaved parents across artificial barriers of religion, race, ecomomic class, or ethnic group.
We also offer advice to other relatives, friends and professionals as to how to deal with those close to them who may be grieivng. To this end, TCF offers support literature and gives regular talks and presentations within the community, such as at schools, hospitals, corporates, the media and other charitable organisations.
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Registration No. 001-308 NPO - PBO No. 930000335 Fundraising No. 01100449007.
A Non-denominational self-help organisation.
Founders: Reverend Simon Stephens (England) and Linda belheim (South Africa)
