MAY 2012

My dear Friends

“What must I do?”   “How do I cope?”

These are two of the most asked questions by the newly bereaved.  Not even the most experienced and best-trained counsellors have the answers.  Our reactions to, and management of, grief are as individual as our fingerprints.  What works for you may not help another, and alarmingly, what brought comfort yesterday is useless today.  Within any 24 hours emotions and their handling fluctuates.  Controlling thoughts and behaviour seems no longer possible.  This spirals from the disconcerting to the terrifying.   Fears of losing sanity are not unusual but they are unfounded.  It’s the trauma of losing a loved one that so unsettles mourners, depriving them of serenity and stability. 

So, if there is no plan for coming to terms with tragedy and the new realities of life are there examples and models to help us?  The following ‘recipe’ isn’t the final or the complete aid by any means but it does offer some broad guidelines that in Churchill’s words are not the beginning of the end but might be the end of the beginning.

Survival Soup
Gently stir together equal quantities of the following ingredients.
Some might be difficult to find but it is important to search for them as the soup
is not as nourishing without them:
Courage – Compassion – Patience – Perseverance – Love – Empathy – Tolerance --
Values – Adaptability – Energy – Time – Commitment – Honesty – Gentleness – Forgiveness – Memories – Humility – Self-esteem – Balance – Support
Season with Humour and Sprinkle with Hope.

This dish is just as good as a main meal or a top-up snack.  It tastes particularly delicious when shared with Friends.

Much love,

Rosemary Dirmeik

GOLF DAY

TCF REQUIRES VOLUNTEERS FOR THE GOLF DAY
The Compassionate Friends are looking for volunteers to help organize a GOLF DAY later this year.  We need people and Companies to sponsor holes and 4 balls.  After the prize-giving we usually have an auction.  So we would also like items that can be auctioned.  If you are interested, please contact the office during the mornings for more information.  Telephone (011) 440-6322.

THE GOLF DAY IS PROVISIONALLY BOOKED FOR FRIDAY, 14 SEPTEMBER 2012 AT THE KYALAMI GOLF CLUB.

	UBUNTU WALK FOR LOVE SAT 12 MAY 2012 10h00 Click Here for more information

There will be no usual Monthly Meeting

• National Gathering – Friday, 28 until Sunday, 30 September 2012 in Pretoria.  More details will follow later.
• Candle Lighting – Wednesday, 21 November 2012
• Globe Lighting – Saturday, 01 December 2012

My Dear Compassionate Friends

With Mother’s Day around the corner we are once again reminded that we remain parents for the rest of our lives even if we have lost any or all of our children.  May this Mother’s Day bring you joy in remembering who and what you are!  Herewith a wonderful snippet giving a new meaning to dying: The Ship.  May God bless you this month and may you find some form of healing!  [Sharon]

 
I am standing upon the seashore,
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white
cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!”
“Gone where?”
Gone from my sight.  That is all.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says:
“There, she is gone!” there are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout:

“Here she comes!”  And that is dying. 

     
Since Mother’s Day is approaching there is a lot of the talk about, MOTHER’S DAY. This is a hard time for bereaved parents.  So many ask the question if your only child died, are you still a mother?  YES! You are a mother and a very special one.

You will always be the mother of your child.  You may no longer enjoy their laughter or the dirty finger prints on the walls, but that mother’s love is still there and will always be deep in your heart and soul.  Because we loved our children the pain we have now is the price we pay.  As bereaved parents we can share our children’s love with others. The love our children gave us will live in our hearts forever.  So, yes indeed you are a mother. 

[Linda Delk, TCF, Tampa]

MySchool MyVillageMyPlanet

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